Things We’ve Collected Since Spring

Closing night of he 127th season was highlighted with Concierge and Hotel Historian, Bob Tagatz delivering his “Closing the Grand” speech. The Theater was packed with guests, a few sitting in rocking chairs from the Front Porch brought in to be stored for the winter.  Bob shared his favorite questions asked by guests during the season, along with some questions that he hears year after year.  Two favorites from this year; “How will my luggage know what boat to get on?” and “Is Mackinac Island located near a lake?”  Bob began this part of his lecture by reminding us all “there are no stupid questions, but some are pretty entertaining”.

After Bob had everyone cracking up with several more anecdotes, and his creative way of telling Grand Hotel history, Director of Security, Jason Kladiva, and Security Guard, Ted Weeks entertained the crowd.  Last season Jason and Ted were a big hit with “The Twelve Days of Lost and Found” and this year they topped that with another musical treat called “These Are the Things We’ve Collected Since Spring”.   They sang to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music, and this version had the crowd roaring with laughter.   For those of you who missed the live performance the lyrics are below, enjoy!

 

THESE ARE THE THINGS WE’VE COLLECTED SINCE SPRING
(To the tune of “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music)

Black cell phone charger, and a blue iPad case
Red reading glasses, and a can of bear mace
Lacy white nighties, and fake diamond rings
These are the things we’ve collected since Spring.

Point and shoot cameras, and Ohio State hoodies
Blue stocking caps, and a ripped pair of khakis
Soggy beach towels, and a kid’s water wings
These are the things we’ve collected since Spring

Brown bag of golf clubs, and Sherlock’s adventures,
Bob Tagatz books, and an old lady’s dentures,
A ragged old hat from Colorado Springs,
These are the things we’ve collected since Spring.

We log them all in
Then the phone rings
The owners tell us what they had
We pack them all up, and ship them their things
And then we don’t feel so bad.

{Phone Rings}
“Grand Hotel Security, how can I help you?”
“This is so embarrassing. I have lost my khaki shorts.”
“When was the last time you saw them?”
“About a half an hour ago.”
“Where did you see them?”
“In the parlor.”
“Ma’am, if you let me know what room you are staying in
we will be happy to return them to you if they are found.”
“Oh, we aren’t staying. We’re just here for the buffet.”

[PAUSE]
“Ma’am, do you have any pants on?”
WHOAAA!

Pink bags of fudge, and a blue woolen mitten,
Children’s bike helmets, and a passport from Britain.
Ladies black purses filled with their bling
These are the things we’ve collected since Spring.

Several new Kindles, and heart medication,
Brown ladies wigs, and the story of Creation,
A white tennis shoe that is missing a string,
These are the things we’ve collected since Spring.

Plastic severed arms, and lots of pajamas,
Bottles of wine, and long golf umbrellas,
A large gray hat from Lord of the Rings,
These are the things we collected since Spring.

We log them all in
Then the phone rings
The owners tell us what they had
We pack them all up, and ship them their things
And then we don’t feel so bad.

 

1 Comment to Things We’ve Collected Since Spring

  1. Betty Steward's Gravatar Betty Steward
    November 8, 2013 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    The passing of another wonderful year. God willing, we’ll be back to enjoy another.

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